I WAS A CUCKOO?!

I was just reading posts commenting on a short interview in US News & World Report with Deborah Kotz, an author who feigned mental illness to investigate three different mental health facilities she checked herself into. The name of her book is Voluntary Madness: My Year Lost and Found in the Loony Bin (Viking, 2008).The interview and the following comments were intriguing to me, because I myself have suffered from a mental illness (clinical depression) and have been treated both as an inpatient and outpatient. Yes, mental illness is a serious condition and it is extremely important for those in need to be very cautious in choosing the facility in which to receive treatment (if they have a choice, that is!!!) and the truly mentally ill need compassion like everyone else. However, I am a person who believes that humor is so important in life and sometimes we cannot take ourselves too seriously. Yes, the previous statement is a lead-in to something people may consider offensive, but I feel okay with it because I don’t mean to offend anyone and I have a heart for the mentally ill. All of us have quirks, anyway. Okay-- so I found the following post which made me laugh hysterically. I don’t know if this person is truly crazy or just making some jackass comment to rile people up, but it struck me as incredibly funny and I want to post it!!!! Also, it gave me a visual of my first ex-husband doing this to himself…I CAN’T HELP IT!!!

"I avoid going to hospitals or clinics when I am feeling depressed, it costs way too much!! I have learned to treat myself at home. I just get good and drunk and hook myself up to my little machine I made.
I took a momentary contact switch, similar to a doorbell button, a ballast for fluorescent light bulbs, and just attach the output leads to various places on my body, such as my elbows
knees or fingertips, or between my toes, plug it in and sit down and watch some good comedy on TV, while knocking off a six-pack of beer and a pint of BACARDI 151 rum, when something on the show gives me a good laugh, I just tap the button once or twice. When I wake up in the morning I feel a whole lot better and I ask myself (WHAT DEPRESSION)!!!
I am ready to take on the world! DON’T GET IN MY WAY!"

I’m still laughing! Some people took offense to a comment that the author made about the facilities having a great pool of characters to write about, including the staff. Here again, I can’t blame her because I did the same thing. I had a horrible bout of post-partum depression after my lovely daughter was born and I was in an abusive relationship at the time, so one night I thought I was going stark-raving mad with anxiety and I checked myself into a local hospital. When I got into the mental unit, (my mom came along with me for moral support), I looked around at the other patients and said to my mom, “Oh my God! I’m in ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOOS NEST!” We couldn’t help but laugh. I said that because I was depressed and anxious but I didn’t feel “crazy”, for lack of a better word. Most of the other patients had issues like mania, schizophrenia and psychosis. I felt like I didn’t belong there and I was using humor to cope and to ease my mother’s fear. Thank God there was no Nurse Cratched !! I also passed the time by giving certain people nicknames, like the woman with schizophrenia who stole my John Grisham book. I called her The Mumbler because she was constantly walking around mumbling to herself. Judge me if you will. My good friend Stephen & I used to do the same thing when we were doing the city club circuit. There were regulars at certain clubs and we had code names for them. At one club there was Robert Smith (from The Cure), Cali Surfer Dude, and The Turtle. At another there was Marilyn (Manson, not Monroe) and Jesus—he didn’t look like Jesus, he just had this certain dance move where he would stand still and fling out his arms in a crucifixion-style pose, shirtless. I’M CRACKING MYSELF UP JUST THINKING ABOUT THIS STUFF. I haven’t thought about these club characters in a while. I worked my way through college as a waitress and did the same thing with customers...YOU may have been one of -em!! More about that another time!

MOST PIERCED WOMAN

The world's most pierced woman, Elaine Davidson, according to the Guinness Book of World Records, has added to her collection with a 6,005th piercing, the U.K.'s Telegraph reported. She added that many of her new piercings are internal...OUCH!

WHAT WE DIDN'T HEAR AT OBAMA'S SPEECH

PELOSI (breathlessly) "Happy Fifth Week...To You. Happy Fifth Week..To You. Happy Fifth Week, Mister Pwez-i-dent, Happy...Fifth...Week...To...You..."
BIDEN (to himself): "I'll be damned! He said 'nobody messes with Joe'. Now I can take on Hillary!"

TAKE THIS,PETA!

Designer Bruno Frisoni for Roger Vivier designed these shoes--The Dovima, as the shoe is known. Yes, those are rose pink-dyed taxidermy birds perched delicately on each toe. Each stuffed bird also has a crystal-encrusted head and is further complemented by 24 ct gold-coated mesh, silk, ribbons, and crocodile-skin rosettes. Plus every pair comes with special protective crocodile or snakeskin platforms that attach before you wear them to keep the shoes from ever touching the ground. All for just $43,000 and three months of waiting after you order.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

MY AFFORDABLE DREAM CAR

I was just killing a few minutes by reading an article from a writer covering the 2009 Detroit NAIAS, which was accompanied by a slideshow of 10 significant Mustangs. The above was one of them-- the 2007 Shelby GT500! I freakin' love it! I have wanted one since the very minute I first laid eyes on it. The reason I call it my affordable dream car (a bit of an oxymoron) is that we could afford it but my hubby says "Dream On!" when I tell him we're getting one--says I have a lead foot, tailgate and I will end up killing myself and/or someone else with it. Yes, I am tempted to speed from time to time, but I don't tailgate!! Anyway, I'm gonna get that car someday, the 2010 version, in silver with black stripes! I promise I'll wear a helmet...

That said, I'll show you my Unaffordable Dream Car (SIGH!) The 2010 Bentley GTC Speed. SLEEK and SEXY!

I'M FO SHIZZLE DIZZLE!

"There's not a hoax," Phoenix said. "Might I be ridiculous? Might my career in music be laughable? Yeah, that's possible, but that's certainly not my intention."
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He looks like he's channeling Jim Morrison in this pic; not looking like a rapper at all.

Whatever his intention, whether it be an actual transition to music or an elaborate, Andy Kaufmanesque stunt, I can't get enough!! Watch the YouTube video of him rapping to promote his new movie or his recent appearance on Letterman! FUNNY, FUNNY STUFF!

Joaquin is such an excellent actor that I hate to think he's finished acting for good. If Casey Affleck is actually going to produce the documentary he's filming of Joaquin's "career change", that is definitely a must see for me.

BEEF--IT'S WHAT'S FOR DINNER!

In addition to being incredibly insensitive and insulting to African-Americans, the PETA ad comparing the AKC to the KKK IMO is ideologically inaccurate and it bugs me that these idiots don’t know their history. PETA accuses the AKC of creating a “master race” of canines which, in their minds, likens it to the KKK. It was the NAZIS under Hitler, not the KKK, that believed in creating a master race and, as we all know, committed widespread, egregious acts of violence against Jews, gypsies, and other “undesireables”, culminating in the Holocaust.
Although the KKK is as loathsome a racist, anti-Semitic organization as the Nazi Party, it never attempted to “create’ a master race though genocide and sick medical experiments.
I may be splitting hairs here, but hey, that’s in my nature! And no, I do not condone the beliefs of either of these parties—I just like to pick out inaccuracies!!! At any rate, IMO PETA is an organization full of hysterical people that believe animals have the same rights as human beings. I do not share this belief and believe that animals were put here on this earth to help humans in many ways—as beasts of burden, companions, sources of clothing and, God forbid, FOOD! PETA is just another bunch of fanatics that take an idea too far. Yes, I believe in treating animals in a humane manner in both domestic and commercial settings and that all life deserves respect, but I don’t go so far as to say that animals are on the same level as humans. A calf is not the equal of a human baby for f**k’s sake!!!! There is a certain hierarchy in the animal kingdom, of which we are a part, and we are on the top of the “food chain”!

HORROR STORY-- STARRING SOCIALIZED MEDICINE

TOKYO (AP) - A 69-year-old Japanese man injured in a traffic accident died after paramedics spent more than an hour negotiating with 14 hospitals before one admitted him, a fire department official said Wednesday.
The man, whose bicycle collided with a motorcycle in the western city of Itami, waited at the scene in an ambulance because the hospitals said they could not accept him, citing a lack of specialists, equipment, beds and staff, according to Mitsuhisa Ikemoto. One of the 14 finally admitted the man when the paramedics called it for a second time.
It was the latest in a string of recent cases in Japan in which patients were denied treatment, underscoring the country's health care woes that include a shortage of doctors.
Ikemoto said the victim might have survived if a hospital accepted him more quickly. "I wish hospitals are more willing to take patients, but they have their own reasons, too," he said.

More than 14,000 emergency patients were rejected at least three times by Japanese hospitals before getting treatment in 2007, according to the latest government survey. In the worst case, a woman in her 70s with a breathing problem was rejected 49 times in Tokyo.

Pay attention America, this could be our future!

HERE, KITTY KITTY!

2009 TAX CODE FOR MEN

The only thing that the IRS has not taxed yet it the male penis. This is due to the fact that 69% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 10% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off and 1% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has two dependents that are both nuts!

HOWEVER, effective January 1, 2009, the penis will be taxed according to size:

10” -12” Luxury Tax $300.00
8” – 10” Pole Tax $250.00
5” – 8” Privilege Tax $150.00
3” – 5” Nuisance tax $ 30.00

Males exceeding 12” must file capital gains tax!!! Anyone under 3” is eligible for a tax refund! PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION!

"ROB ZOMBIE APPROVED" COUTURE!

This outfit was selected as one of the ugliest of 2008, but I don't think it's ugly...just bizzare-- but in a cool way! I have appreciation for wearing things to shock people 'cause I did it in my teens and 20's. Only Grace Jones could pull this one off and look wickedly cool! The outfit wouldn't have worked if it wasn't all black, IMO.

FUGLIEST OUTFITS OF '08

SJ Parker in Aqua Ring and Lucy Lieu donning the entrails of a Giant Squid...

I ain't So Ravin' about this Dominatrix meets gym class outfit!

It's BJORK, what do you expect? Looks like my daughter's craft kit exploded in her face!

BaiLing-A-Ling recycling a Walmart plastic Christmas tablecloth!!!! Deck the halls!

Princess Leah for the new millennium!

LAZINESS CAN BE FUNNY...

CHANGING OF THE GUARD

I am not a fan of Barack Obama due to his liberal/socialistic political views, but I do feel proud that a legacy of bigotry and racial hatred in this country has taken a major hit by his election as our President. I know that these destructive attitudes will persist in not just this country, but all countries in our world. However, I do feel that we as a nation have taken a giant step toward showing the world that we are not a nation of bigots and racists and we can overcome dark epochs in our great nation's history. There may never be any reparations or restorations made, but that doesn't mean that we can't move forward, and we have in many ways leading up to this date. This is just a major jewel in the crown of those who have worked and are working toward racial equality in the United States. I say those who still want to be angry and hate the "white man" are only hurting themselves and should give forgiveness a try.
NOW, on another note, I read that some in the crowd (at the Inauguration) booed president Bush when the large viewing screens near the World War II Memorial flashed an image of the exiting president arriving at the swearing-in. Others cheered when they heard a television broadcaster announce, "George Bush is no longer president of the United States." Still others in the crowd broke into chants of "Na-na-na-nah, hey, hey, hey, goodbye."
How classless and juvenile was that? Regardless of whether one agrees with his policies and performance, I think it is in poor taste to boo and attempt to humiliate the former leader of the free world. What a lack of tact!! Bush, however,
unfazed by his unpopularity, smiled and waved throughout the day's activities. He blew a kiss out the window of his limousine as he left the White House with Obama. Now that was very presidential and classy. I wish all the best for George W. and Laura, and I will be praying that Obama and his cabinet will make decisions that are right for America and that Obama will handle his position with wisdom, strength, integrity, humility and faith in Almighty God.

PITTSBURGH'S GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL...AGAIN!

YOU MAY BE A REDNECK

You may be a redneck if, instead of watching the ball drop in Times Square on New Year's Eve, you were in Brasstown,North Carolina attending the "drop of the Possum"!!WTF!?

This baby hippo reminds me of the F'ed up looking baby (pic on top) in the David Lynch movie Eraserhead, which I hate and I'm pissed that I have been reminded of it!!! It was extremely depressing and left me with a feeling of hopelessness. If that was what he was trying to achieve, it worked! He says that the fim is extremely personal, and becomes uncomfortable when asked about "The Baby". Lynch thinks of Eraserhead as "A dream of dark and troubling things." Lynch will not tell anyone what that "baby" was; whether it was organic or mechanical, etc. He did say that the sounds they used for the baby were organic. CREEEEPY!!!! Now, when I think of Blue Velvet, all I can do is laugh and want to put on a breathing mask!!!!

I think my old friends & I partied with this guy in the 90's...