FAUXBAMA

Wanted to post this to piss some people off. I know you've probably seen it before, but I'm in that kind of mood today! Are you going to listen to his "race speech" tonight just for comedic relief?

NEW TWIST ON GINGER V. MARY ANN

New criterion to consider in the discussion of which of these two women is more desirable...

The Associated Press

DRIGGS, Idaho -- Dawn Wells, who played Mary Ann on "Gilligan's Island," is serving six months' unsupervised probation after allegedly being caught with marijuana in her car.

She was sentenced Feb. 29 to five days in jail, fined $410.50 and placed on probation after pleading guilty to one count of reckless driving.

Under a plea agreement, three misdemeanor counts — driving under the influence, possession of drug paraphernalia and possession of a controlled substance — were dropped.

My Conclusion: STONERS PREFER MARY ANN!!!

Sexy Hollowood Men with Hair

Men, you get some eye candy with the Brad Pitt pic...

Bald Is Beautiful

For all of you dudes out there who may be "follicularly challenged"...PC mumbo jumbo...here are some pics to help cheer you up!! There were ten in the piece I read, but I picked the ones who rang my bell (especially the Italian musician Andre Feriante, shown last). I got these pics from MSN's Lifestyles section. Yes, Vin Diesel was in it, but he doesn't do anything for me! So now that I'm in to mood to look at sexy men, I will now post my favorite Hollywood men with hair!!!

Robot Chicken

"Actor Seth Green ("Buffy the Vampire Slayer") and Matthew Senreich created this off-the-wall comedy hit, a series of pop culture parodies using stop-motion animation of toys, action figures and dolls. The title character had been an ordinary chicken until he was run down by a car and subsequently brought back to life in cyborg form by mad scientist Fritz Huhnmorder, who tortures Robot Chicken by forcing him to watch a random selection of TV shows, the sketches that make up the body of each episode."
I think I may have seen a nanosecond of this while I've been flicking through channels late at night when Law & Order: SVU isn't on. I obviously dismissed it in my mind as being uninteresting, but I just read the above description of it and, actually, it looks like something I might like! It may be stupid, but I like some types of stupid stuff! I hope it's warped and demented. Now, I just can't help comparing Robot Chicken's TV show torture with that of Alex De Large's (Malcom McDowell) eyes-propped open, movie torture/rehabilitation in Stanley Kubrick's "A Clockwork Orange". It just CAN'T be that good, can it??

"It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."

— Mother Teresa

"ECO-(friendly)" THE HALLS!

TOKYO (Reuters) - Not even a blackout could put a damper on festivities at one Japanese aquarium where an electric eel is being used to light up its Christmas tree.
Two aluminum panels inside the eel's tank work as electrodes to catch its power. Cables attached to the panels supply the lights on the nearby tree with electricity.
Inventor Kazuhiko Minawa said it took him more than a month to devise a system that would effectively harness eel power.
"If we could gather all electric eels from all around the world, we would be able to light up an unimaginably giant Christmas tree," Minawa told Reuters Television.
(WHOOPEEEEEEE!!!!)
The tree, which will stay illuminated until Christmas, is proving a popular attraction, drawing tourists from all over the country.
"I would love to have an eel like this at home. This is very nature-friendly," said visitor Harumi Yayoi.
MY COMMENT: Why yes, yes it is very nature-friendly! This would be such a perfect way for the GORE family to light their Christmas tree!! Whaddya say, AL? Now, you just might want to check with the libs at PETA to make sure they don't think the eels are being exploited...

SHOUT OUT TO MARIA SHRIVER

I don't have much time these days to post, so this will be short & sweet. I just read that Maria Shriver will not be returning to NBC News. She said that the way the media handled the reporting of the accidental drug-overdose death of Anna Nicole Smith finalized her decision, and that "the TV news business has changed and so have I". Why the shout out? I admire her for not setting aside her personal ethics/morals/beliefs to return to a business that exploits the pain and suffering of individuals and their friends & families just to get ratings. Yes, I acknowledge the "freedom of speech" issue; but does that mean the media has the right to expose the foibles and secrets of people to others that really have no need to know the information? What good does it do the general American public to know this stuff? In this case the media is just bottle-feeding the public's voyeuristic nature! Where does it stop? The American public, over the past several decades, has become so desensitized to seeing violence and hearing about "shocking" details that the media, in an attempt to maintain ratings, has become more risque in its subject material--they need to jump over the shock value threshold that we are accustomed to. Thus the publishing of such things as the infamous Brittney Spears beaver shots--what the hell! And yes, I realize that public figures, especially Hollywood stars, put themselves in the spotlight by the very nature of their craft; but does that give the media the right to hound celebrities and other public figures? The circumstances surrounding the death of Princess Diana should answer this question, by God! I could go on on on about this subject because it really pisses me off, but I'm out of time and I have to go! Thank you, Maria, for being true to yourself.

PRESIDENT "BUSH"

I am a Rebublican and a "W" supporter, but I just have to post this because, after all, IT'S FRICKIN' FUNNY!!!! Artist Jonathen Yeo has created a collage portrait of U.S. President George W. Bush by cutting up porn magazines. The portrait is currently on display in London. You can't see the "offensive" images in the pic that I posted, but I was able to look at it more closely and there definitely are images of male & female genitalia used as part of the collage. My favorite part is Bush's right ear which is a profile of a woman performing fellatio. The tribute has not gone over well with Bush's supporters. A spokesman for Republicans Abroad International described the portrait as a "cheap stunt" in an interview with the British tabloid The Sun. Meanwhile, a spokesman for the Republican Party in Bush's home state of Texas didn't find much humor in the portrait either. "This picture is very distasteful," he told the paper, adding angrily, "Why would anyone want to make a picture of our president from pornographic material?" Yeah, why would anyone want to use Pres. Bush as the subject of this type of portrait? I personally think Pres. Clinton would've been ABSOLUTELY PERFECT!!! ALRIGHT GOP, get a grip and see the humor in this.

LIBERAL FREAK-OUT OVER BUSH SPEECH

AS a poignant move in solidifying his stance on staying the course in Iraq and addressing the Iraq/Vietnam war comparison, President Bush in his speech last Thursday quoted the following from Senator J. William Fulbright of Arkansas (quote from 1972 re: Vietnam war), who asked, "What earthly difference does it make to nomadic tribes or uneducated subsistence farmers in Vietnam or Cambodia or Laos whether they have a military dictator or a socialist commissar?" The anti-war Senator put into words the liberals' difficulty to imagine how their lives (S. Vietnamese) could be anything but better with the Americans gone from Vietnam. Responding to this mentality, Rush Limbaugh stated, "These are the people that tell us they care more than anybody else about the people... especially the oppressed and the downtrodden, the peasants. Subsistence farmers, these are the people Democrats have been saying all of my life that they care about and nobody else does, and here's this guy ready to consign them to a lifetime of bondage." Rush later adds, "So you got all these Democrats and all these media people who have been making the Iraq-Vietnam comparison to dredge up all of this negative and doom and gloom in people's minds. So Bush comes out and says, "Okay, you want a comparison? Here, try this," and just threw it right back (by quoting the Arkansas senator), and has outmaneuvered them again, and they just can't stand it."

Liberal Democrats are vested in FAILURE! They don't want the U.S. to make progress in Iraq because they have been using the supposed failure in Iraq as the primary reason for the indignant demand for the pullout of U.S. troops from Iraq. They want to be the party responsible for stopping "Bush's and his supporters'" desire to stay the course in Iraq--to have a U.S. military presence there to ensure a stabilization of the newly ELECTED government. They also want to be the party to say "I told you so" to the Bush administration. The stabilization of the new Iraqi goverment will take time, and we as U.S. citizens have a vested interest in a democratic government taking hold in that country and being able to keep the ideals of Al-Qaeda out of its political philosophy. This war on terror will not be won overnight, and Bush GETS IT! We are not losing the war in Iraq. Even the liberal media is reporting that there seems to be a U.S. turnaround in Iraq, and the liberal Dems hate that! I could go on, but my time for this has run out for today.

"The only way your powers can become great is by exerting them outside the circle of your own narrow, special, selfish interests. And that is the reason of Christianity. Christ came into the world to save others, not to save himself; and no man is a true Christian who does not think constantly of how he can lift his brother, how he can assist his friend, how he can enlighten mankind, how he can make virtue the rule of conduct in the circle in which he lives."

— President Woodrow Wilson, Oct. 24, 1914

CHEW TOY VENGEANCE

Okay, dogs of America!! Now is your chance to take vengeance! Ask your master to purchase you the new Michael Vick Dog Chew Toy when it hits the shelves at your local PetSmart!
All kidding aside, I did read that Florida-based Red Room Company is selling a Michael Vick Dog Chew Toy on its website. Oh, how sublime! Vengeance is MINE, sez' Rex! This gives a different meaning to taking a bite out of crime!

PROGRESS IN IRAQ

THIS IS JUST SO GOOD THAT INSTEAD OF COMMENTING ON IT, I JUST POSTED THE ARTICLE!

Shocking New York Times Op-ed: Iraq Is ‘A War We Just Might Win’
By Noel Sheppard | July 30, 2007 - 10:07 ET
On Sunday, NewsBusters reported a shocking discussion that ensued on "The Chris Matthews Show" wherein five liberal media members actually debated why America shouldn't withdraw its troops from Iraq.

Maybe more shocking, the following day, an op-ed was published in the New York Times claiming that "We are finally getting somewhere in Iraq, "morale is high," and, as a result, this is "a war we just might win."

Adding to the shock is that this piece was written by two members of the Brookings Institution, which even Wikipedia acknowledges is "widely regarded as being politically liberal." The authors - Michael O'Hanlon and Kenneth M. Pollack - described themselves as "two analysts who have harshly criticized the Bush administration's miserable handling of Iraq."

Not anymore. Better prepare yourself for an alternate reality (emphasis added throughout):

The Bush administration has over four years lost essentially all credibility. Yet now the administration's critics, in part as a result, seem unaware of the significant changes taking place.

Here is the most important thing Americans need to understand: We are finally getting somewhere in Iraq, at least in military terms. As two analysts who have harshly criticized the Bush administration's miserable handling of Iraq, we were surprised by the gains we saw and the potential to produce not necessarily "victory" but a sustainable stability that both we and the Iraqis could live with.

Shocking. But it got even better:

After the furnace-like heat, the first thing you notice when you land in Baghdad is the morale of our troops...Today, morale is high. The soldiers and marines told us they feel that they now have a superb commander in Gen. David Petraeus; they are confident in his strategy, they see real results, and they feel now they have the numbers needed to make a real difference.

And, the numbers speak for themselves:

[C]ivilian fatality rates are down roughly a third since the surge began - though they remain very high, underscoring how much more still needs to be done.

[...]

[T]hings look much better than before. American advisers told us that many of the corrupt and sectarian Iraqi commanders who once infested the force have been removed. The American high command assesses that more than three-quarters of the Iraqi Army battalion commanders in Baghdad are now reliable partners (at least for as long as American forces remain in Iraq).

Amazing, wouldn't you agree. Yet, the best was still to come:

In war, sometimes it's important to pick the right adversary, and in Iraq we seem to have done so. A major factor in the sudden change in American fortunes has been the outpouring of popular animus against Al Qaeda and other Salafist groups, as well as (to a lesser extent) against Moktada al-Sadr's Mahdi Army.

These groups have tried to impose Shariah law, brutalized average Iraqis to keep them in line, killed important local leaders and seized young women to marry off to their loyalists. The result has been that in the last six months Iraqis have begun to turn on the extremists and turn to the Americans for security and help. The most important and best-known example of this is in Anbar Province, which in less than six months has gone from the worst part of Iraq to the best (outside the Kurdish areas). Today the Sunni sheiks there are close to crippling Al Qaeda and its Salafist allies. Just a few months ago, American marines were fighting for every yard of Ramadi; last week we strolled down its streets without body armor.

Maybe most shocking, the authors, almost speaking directly to dovish Democrats in Congress as well as those running for president, concluded:

How much longer should American troops keep fighting and dying to build a new Iraq while Iraqi leaders fail to do their part? And how much longer can we wear down our forces in this mission? These haunting questions underscore the reality that the surge cannot go on forever. But there is enough good happening on the battlefields of Iraq today that Congress should plan on sustaining the effort at least into 2008.

How extraordinary to read this in the New York Times.

—Noel Sheppard is an economist, business owner, and a contributing editor to NewsBusters

"BALLSY" INCIDENT

I just want to send a shout out to Faith Hill for ripping a fan a new A-hole for grabbing Tim McGraw's nads during their recent concert in Louisiana. If you want to see the video of the incident, go to TMZ.com. I would insert the link but I'm not that good at doing such things...
Faith is quoted as saying, ""Somebody needs to teach you some class, my friend. You don't go grabbing somebody else's, somebody's husband's balls, you understand me?
"That's very disrespectful". I love it! It seems as though some people think that celebrities are public property and fair game to be touched, fondled, harassed, etc., and I'm glad Faith had the hutzpah to confront the ball-fondling fan!

YOU TUBE DEMOCRATIC DEBATE

I am a Republican and my boyfriend is a Democrat (Carville and Matalin ring a bell???), so I was subjected to the above-mentioned auditory assault on CNN the other night. To be fair and honest, I watched it willingly because I wanted to hear what Clinton, Obama and the others had to say. I'm not going to get into political rhetoric because that is not the purpose of this post. My intention here is to say how utterly ridiculous and politically ignorant & unsavvy much of the American public is. I was appalled at the selfishness of some of the questions. Granted, I only watched, I think, the last hour of the "debate"; but I heard enough. Someone asked for his taxes to be lowered so he could afford college; two women asked if they could get married if any one of the candidates became the next president; someone asked about reparations for slavery; someone asked on behalf of others if undocumented workers could get health care coverage under his/her potential administration; BLAH BLAH BLAH!!! One jackass asked the candidates to look at the person on their left and say what they liked/disliked the most about that person. GIVE ME A FUCKIN' BREAK!I think I laughed out loud! If this was a ploy for the Dems to show how much they value the opinions of the common man, I think it backfired. I don't think even they expected the lack of substance in the questions and that the questions would originate from such narrow self-interest. I was secretly hoping that some tree-hugging PETA member would ask for universal health care coverage for animals!!!!
I heard on the Quinn & Rose show this morning that the Republican candidates do not want to do the You Tube debate, and I can't blame them. I understand that our president needs to care about the interests of the American people, but I believe he/she needs to be most concerned about macro, not micro, issues that benefit the majority of Americans. I think the Republicans understand this, and don't want to waste their time answering ridiculous questions. The Dems really didn't have a chance to debate each other over the questions, which, I thought, was the point of having the whole thing.

Application Matters

I heard recently of a minister in the Midwest who was going for a walk with a soap salesman in the community who was a real skeptic toward Christianity. They were having quite an active debate while walking through the park. The businessman was getting in some good jabs at the inconsistency of Christians.

As they were walking through the park the soap salesman questioned the minister, "How can you say that Christianity works when even within the inner-city park you see derelicts of every kind, drugs, and prostitutes? Then you have the problems of the family, war, and disease, not to mention the negative problems of the world. How can you say that Christianity works? Just look around-it's not working." They walked in silence for a few moments, and then the minister turned to him and said, "You're a soap salesman, right?" "Yes, of course," was the reply. "Is it good soap?" "It's the best soap on the market!" was the comment of the salesman. The minister turned and pointed to a small child playing in the park who was covered with dirt and grime, and said, "This boy is dirty and filthy from the mud in the park; doesn't your soap help him?" The salesman said, "Well, you've got to apply the soap." The minister's response was, "So it is with the Christian faith. You must apply the Christian faith in order for it to work."

IN HONOR OF FATHER'S DAY

11 Smartest Things Ever Said About Fatherhood

Compiled By Tia Albright, Men's Health

1. "It is admirable for a man to take his son fishing, but there is a special place in heaven for the father who takes his daughter shopping." -John Sinor

2. "They don't grade fathers, but if your daughter's a stripper, you f—ked up!" -Chris Rock

3. "Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could... adopted a role called 'Being a Father' so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life." -Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities

4. "Whatever you are, be a good one." -Abraham Lincoln

5. "My mother protected me from the world, and my father threatened me with it." -Quentin Crisp

6. "There must be many fathers around the country who have experienced the cruelest, most crushing rejection of all: Their children have ended up supporting the wrong team." -Nick Hornby

7. "My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, 'You're tearing up the grass.' 'We're not raising grass,' Dad would reply. 'We're raising boys.' " -Harmon Killebrew

8. "You don't put kids under surveillance: It might frighten you. Parents should sit tall in the saddle and look upon their troops with a noble and benevolent and extremely nearsighted gaze." -Garrison Keillor

9. "A man that doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man." -Marlon Brando as Don Corleone in The Godfather

10. "When I was a boy of 14 my father was so ignorant that I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in only 7 years." -Mark Twain

11. "Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter. In love to our wives there is desire; to our sons, ambition; but to our daughters there is something which there are no words to express." -Joseph Addison

ATTITUDE CHECK

A confederate soldier in the midst of some very trying circumstances wrote the words below. I don't know who he was or where he learned this incredible principle of life, but I offer it to you today as one of the secrets of a fulfilled life.

I asked God for strength that I might achieve. I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey.

I asked God for health that I might do greater things. I was given infirmity that I might do better things.

I asked for riches that I might be happy. I was given poverty that I might be wise.

I asked for power that I might have the praise of men. I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. I was given life that I might enjoy all things.

I got nothing I asked for but everything I had hoped for....

Almost despite myself my unspoken prayers were answered. I am among all men most richly blessed.

- Unknown Confederate Soldier

"Memorial Day was established to commemorate those who died in the defense of our national ideals. Our ideals of freedom, justice and equal rights for all have been challenged many times since then, and thousands of Americans have given their lives in many parts of the world
to secure those same ideals and insure for their children a lasting peace. Their sacrifice demands that we, the living, continue to promote the cause of peace and the ideals
for which they so valiantly gave of themselves."

-- President Ronald Reagan, May 25, 1981